Empathy

I had dinner and drinks with a friend earlier this week,
we've known each other for years and
although we've don't hang out as much now,
the beauty of being good friends is when you meet,
it's as if you've never been apart at all.

I've been pretty tired of talking to friends
of my current problems really,
they often tell you things that are either
1. unempathetic, 2. generic, 3. unhelpful
all of which do not help me, and just serve
to shut my already withdrawn self up even further.

We spoke about my what I went through while I was away,
and what caused me to feel and behave the way I did.
And she told me what she thought.

But unlike all the other advise dished out so far,
I felt real empathy and genuine understanding.
It was as if someone had been through what i had and knew how terrible it felt.

'Dark, bleak and a sense of hopelessness,
followed by a spiral out of control.
So tiring, but unable to run away from your thoughts and emotions.'

How that summarised what I felt,
emotions in a state of disarray,
trying to reign it in but seeing it slip further everytime.
Trying to be strong, but really running on empty,
and trying everything possible,
but always feeling like it's the same horse being flogged to death.

I saw her shudder and recoil and realised
she felt the pain of what I went through these few months.
That someone truly empathised felt never felt so comforting.
I didn't have to explain myself again,
nor defend us from being misunderstood.
It was seen completely for what it was.

She offered to help, and I left it to her.
The comfort offered was enough to let me sleep better that night.
Together with the 5 martini's I had while talking.